Why does Father Frost have a granddaughter Snow Maiden if she has no parents?

ERB asked Father Frost a number children’s unexpected questions. We decided to find a real Father Frost for an exigent child and to check the Father Frost’s professional aptitude. A journalist asked him a number of naïve and children’s questions. It turned out to be a difficult task: some people just put down the receiver, others asked to dial another number, still others just laughed loudly. Even the 40-80 dollars offered for a 30-minutes’ visit did not attract some of them.

The invented story: a mother is looking for a Father Frost for her 5-year-old child that can ask an unexpected question at any moment, - at first they listened with understanding but after 3 or 4 questions they did not hide their irritation and asked for how long “my little monster” will be torturing them. They accused me of having brought up such a mercantile child.

ERB: First, where do you live?
Father Frost: We live in the Belavezha.
ERB: Do you have a wife?
Father Frost: No, I only have a granddaughter Snow Maiden. That’s it.
ERB: How can you have a granddaughter if you don’t have a wife?
Father Frost: My wife Snow Queen left us.
ERB: Why people cannot meet you in an ordinary shop?
Father Frost: They can. But it will be my cloned brother.
ERB: So you admit that you have cloned brothers? But he is sure that you are the only one.
Father Frost: (a pause) Well, no… We are actors and we can find a way out of any situation. There are a lot of other Father Frosts advertised. Phone them, because… I don’t know. I wouldn’t go to such a child who is asking so much… Father Frost is a fairy tale. Do you understand it? We give musical performances, joke, give presents, and organize contests. And all this … You are either bringing up a mercantile child or you are bringing him up in a wrong way.

Thus the Father Frost put an end to the conversation and put down the receiver. However, the advertisement said that they could write an individual scenario for a child.

Another Father Frost agreed to answer our question immediately but asked to ring him up in a few minutes after the first question (can you read aloud any verse not included in the programme?). This Father Frost promised to learn something if we chose him. He was so enthusiastic that he even started suggesting scenarios for the child. He suggested entering through the window if the parents agreed to rent a lifting crane for it. However, he had to answer a few questions.

ERB: Where do you take presents from?
Father Frost: I make them together with my dwarfs.
ERB: Is your beard real?
Father Frost: It is. But he will not get a present if he touches it.
ERB: What do you wear in summer?
Father Frost: I always wear my costume. I just sit making presents with my dwarfs in summer. I am always cold because there is always only snow and my deer around me.
ERB: What if the child asks to show him the deer?
Father Frost: I’ll do it if you pay for it.

The Father Frost agreed to organize a performance for my child in spite of all the questions and confessed that he had never had such a serious order.
ERB: How much will it cost?
Father Frost: How long will you child be torturing me?
ERB: About 30 or 40 minutes.
Father Frost: 50 dollars.

Another agency offering Father Frosts was surprised at our strange questions but claimed that a Father Frost with 10 years of experience will easily charge any child. Indeed, the third Father Frost answered all our questions without hesitation but we managed to ask him a children’s question that puzzled him.

ERB: My son asked who would be giving out presents when Father Frost died.
Father Frost: Who said he would die? Father Frost is a fairy tale so he will always be alive.
ERB: Are you married?
Father Frost: No, Father Frost only has a granddaughter - Snow Maiden.
ERB: Who are her parents?
Father Frost: Wow! Were there questions like that? It is a serious appeal for a victory. Excellent question! (a pause) You have puzzled me.

The Father Frost asked us to invite him after such questions: they seemed very interesting and unexpected to him.
It turned out that we did not only puzzle Father Frost, but also confused Snow Maiden who does not know who her parents are.
ERB: Who are your parents?
Snow Maiden: Spring and… I haven’t invented yet (laughs). Spring and Frost. Phone us, I will not be confused. I like extraordinary children, you own world outlook changes thanks to them. I am interested. I will interrogate my Father Frost when he is back. He works in the Merry and Inventive club. Maybe he will find a way out.
It will cost you 40 dollars to invite a Father Frost and a Snow Maiden before the afternoon on December 31 and 70-80 dollars in the evening. It is a pity that ERB has not manage to find a Belarusian-speaking Father Frost.